The grumpy foraging for jazzy socks and work-appropriate chinos, often left in a wine-splattered ball since last Friday, marks the beginning of the run-in to the weekend.
There is a lot to be said about dressing down at work on a Friday at otherwise suited and booted city firms. It helps to create a convivial atmosphere in the office. What's more, comfortable trousers - the jegging a notable example, better facilitate the consumption of doughnuts.
But there is so much further that we can go with it.
We could be dressing up! Not down!
This could be a valuable opportunity to express what we are really like, not the chino-clad image of what we think we should be like.
But what type of fancy dresser are you and what does this choice say about you?
The aspirational superhero
Fake muscles aplenty. You are ambitious. You know the superhero that you could be, if only you had the time. You stand for courage, leadership and for the greater good. Your heart is most definitely in the right place. Your ego is perfectly formed, even in the absence of any great musculature.
Alas, your fears of living up to your own ideal can make you prone to bouts of self-doubt, "am I the superhuman leader that I am portraying myself to be, or am I one big polyester fake?"
The idealist
You choose a noted character that you resemble in some way - physically or ideologically; Churchill, Austin Powers or the 118 118 man. You align yourself to their beliefs and you are well-researched to 'live' your character. You take your role as ambassador for this ideal seriously.
Your loyalty knows no bounds, but your natural inclination to follow perhaps betrays a lack of self-confidence, "people would never see me as a Buzz Lightyear kind of person, but I do have a similar moustache to Biggles."
The Comedian
You dress as a banana, or an egg, or a TellyTubby. Your role is to improve the day of others around you, irrespective of your own personal discomfort. A smile is easily worth a bucket of sweat to you.
But why do you do it? Like many comedians, you may conceal the sadness of the real you behind a physical or metaphorical mask and be prone to bouts of self-loathing, "how stupid do I look? I'm dressed as a giant breast and therefore can't work, or eat."
The Promoter
You choose a costume which promotes an area of your physique which has driven results for you in the past - sexy firewoman, morphsuit, mankini. You recognise the impact that your body has on others and you enjoy the attention.
Like many exhibitionists, you occasionally worry about trading on this asset, and hate yourself for it, but not too much. As Kelly Brook very sensibly said in today's edition of The Times, "If people are interested in my body, then OK, that's it. I'm not going to fight against it..."
The Don't Dress Up-er
Lack of commitment to your work. This is your shop window, and you didn't want to dress it. That, or you don't have a sense of humour. Or you don't fancy revealing the character trait behind your character selection, thus inadvertently revealing a different trait in the process. We are getting into modern game theory here.
Scrap the whole stupid idea. Especially since, for women, there is really only one option according to the online fancy dress outlets, and that is to dress as a stripper (albeit a stripper dressed as a firewoman, nurse, schoolgirl, superhero...) Even the fried egg is sold with stockings. This may suit many of Promoter inclination and/or fine physical form, but without offering the opportunity to distinguish you from other fancy dressers, it is no better than a chino.
Live a better balanced life ....email:info@rejuvenatal.com... twitter:@rejuvenatalcom
Friday, August 24, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Equality for all!
My early impressions of golf clubs were formed at Wentworth, where friend's fathers went to hide, or to conduct their extra-marital affairs. Friends snuck in at night-time to drink cider and play spin the bottle in the bunkers.
Reading the front page news that this week two, yes two all in one go, women have been accepted to the Augusta National golf course, home of the Master's championship, unsettled me. I hadn't known that women were banned, and I couldn't decide whether I cared.
I watched the Wentworth promotional video to help form a view. I should never have done it. I'll never feel the same again.
"Wentworth...where history is made...legends are born"...rousing violin, cymbal crash, melancholy bassoon. God, I love a montage. "Luxury" - sticky buns, plumped pillows, valets, lush green grass, the 'ting' of ball on driver, ducks. "Celebration" - Aston Martin, bubbly bath, rose petals, champagne, creamy choux buns. "Relaxation" - sensuous massage, official handshakes, more silky grass, insanely fluffy white towels. "Celebration" - ice sculptures, pecan pie, cosmopolitans, petits fours, venison, parasols. "Business" - men posing for a photo, nodding vigorously whilst drinking a Montrachet Premier Cru, shaking hands on their deal.
I want to join, and I don't even golf. If I were a woman in Augusta I'd have been fuming too.
I called the membership line. I spoke to a charming Irish chap. Apparently it is really incredibly accessible. It's his job, he says, to find a proposer and seconder to help us enter the club. He does it all the time, no worries. There is currently space, no worries. He asked which line of business my husband was in. I said that he looked after the children (just to see what it sounded like). He didn't miss a beat. He said he thought he knew someone he could connect us to, no worries. Done!
If I had decided on golf as my hobby, over children as my hobby, I could be there, no worries. The annual fees are almost exactly equal to my annual childcare bill. I could be revelling in the power network, slathering myself in machismo, hoovering up choux buns and Chardonnay, hooning up the drive in my Aston Martin, rolling around on the lush green grass, 'ting, ting, ting', "shot!", drinking cosmopolitans out of lewdly shaped ice sculptures whilst broking my next mega-deal. I'd be rich. Rich!
No going back now though. Instead I'm going to start a campaign for greater equality.
Equality for those of us who have finite resource and decide to breed. We are being excluded! Unfairly! Due to the fact that we can't afford to be members. The non-breeding middle-class are getting the better networking opportunities, using their free time to nod vigorously and shake hands, rather than shake heads vigorously and nod off. We deserve some positive discrimination. After all, its not just about us, we may be creating the "legends" of the future, and I really feel like I deserve a choux bun.
But would it hold the same appeal with no children to get away from, or to track down in flagrante? Would it hold the same appeal for husbands knowing that their wives will also likely be there?
Yes, in this instance, I really do think that the grass at the golf club is always greener.
Reading the front page news that this week two, yes two all in one go, women have been accepted to the Augusta National golf course, home of the Master's championship, unsettled me. I hadn't known that women were banned, and I couldn't decide whether I cared.
I watched the Wentworth promotional video to help form a view. I should never have done it. I'll never feel the same again.
"Wentworth...where history is made...legends are born"...rousing violin, cymbal crash, melancholy bassoon. God, I love a montage. "Luxury" - sticky buns, plumped pillows, valets, lush green grass, the 'ting' of ball on driver, ducks. "Celebration" - Aston Martin, bubbly bath, rose petals, champagne, creamy choux buns. "Relaxation" - sensuous massage, official handshakes, more silky grass, insanely fluffy white towels. "Celebration" - ice sculptures, pecan pie, cosmopolitans, petits fours, venison, parasols. "Business" - men posing for a photo, nodding vigorously whilst drinking a Montrachet Premier Cru, shaking hands on their deal.
I want to join, and I don't even golf. If I were a woman in Augusta I'd have been fuming too.
I called the membership line. I spoke to a charming Irish chap. Apparently it is really incredibly accessible. It's his job, he says, to find a proposer and seconder to help us enter the club. He does it all the time, no worries. There is currently space, no worries. He asked which line of business my husband was in. I said that he looked after the children (just to see what it sounded like). He didn't miss a beat. He said he thought he knew someone he could connect us to, no worries. Done!
If I had decided on golf as my hobby, over children as my hobby, I could be there, no worries. The annual fees are almost exactly equal to my annual childcare bill. I could be revelling in the power network, slathering myself in machismo, hoovering up choux buns and Chardonnay, hooning up the drive in my Aston Martin, rolling around on the lush green grass, 'ting, ting, ting', "shot!", drinking cosmopolitans out of lewdly shaped ice sculptures whilst broking my next mega-deal. I'd be rich. Rich!
No going back now though. Instead I'm going to start a campaign for greater equality.
Equality for those of us who have finite resource and decide to breed. We are being excluded! Unfairly! Due to the fact that we can't afford to be members. The non-breeding middle-class are getting the better networking opportunities, using their free time to nod vigorously and shake hands, rather than shake heads vigorously and nod off. We deserve some positive discrimination. After all, its not just about us, we may be creating the "legends" of the future, and I really feel like I deserve a choux bun.
But would it hold the same appeal with no children to get away from, or to track down in flagrante? Would it hold the same appeal for husbands knowing that their wives will also likely be there?
Yes, in this instance, I really do think that the grass at the golf club is always greener.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Facebook friends don't un-me me
Unfriend, unfollow - relatively discreet. Unbaby - the latest application of the prolific prefix of reversal - harder to explain.
Unbaby.me is a new browser extension which removes photos of babies from your Facebook feed and replaces them with pictures of anything else you fancy...cats, seals, bacon. In its first week the app had 30,000 downloads.
With this I hear the rasped breath of the social networking revolution, in death throes, having fallen on a pair of pruning shears.
It was inevitable.
Unfriending, unfollowing, trolling, flaming..we have been gradually killing off nodes in our networks with increasing fervour, because we have grown apart, or because we got bored, or by deliberately insulting eachother. With the use of preferences, likes, recommendations, pseudonyms and now content filters, we have created a world more parochial than it ever was off-line. A network of infinite possibility has been poorly nurtured and naively pruned.
Like the hop plant.
At its very best, the hop adds perfect balance to a delicious social beverage. At its worst it stings and suffocates. Suspected of creating melancholy in the time of Henry VI, growing this 'wicked and pernicious weed' was forbidden.
Gradually, 16th century British society came round to the value of the hop, a hardy perennial and social climber. Hop growers have perfected the art of cultivating this fickle friend. Deep, rich, soil, plenty of space, expect little early, plenty of manure. Each year the vines are 'dressed', that is, all the old ends are cut off, preserving the core. Aphis, red spider, fungus, are delicately wiped away with soap solution by hand.
To nurture our social network, we need to foster not stunt growth. We need to trim the lose ends, preserve the core. We need to invest, we need to give space, we need to wipe away the aphis.
We don't need to replace pictures of our friend's babies with pictures of bacon.
What we should do is create the long-needed distinction between ‘followers’ and 'friends’. When posting on a social network, tag your post to one of the components of your life - family, work, sport. Your 'followers' can chose which part to follow. Your 'friends' take the lot.
Cut away at the core, and your hop plant will die.
(Thanks to Botanical.com)
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Sir Barlow I salute you
As a contrary 13 year old I resolved to hate Take That. I resolutely kept it up for 20 years. I didn't falter - not with Robbie, nor without Robbie, not with him again, not in clown outfits, not in bearskin. That was until they strolled into the Olympic stadium and saved the London 2012 Closing Ceremony from the brink of complete disaster.
We had been subjected to the bizarre, the bad and the out of tune. We had listened to the most unmoving of key-note speeches. Jacques Rogge, the current President of the IOC had 4 years to prepare for the speech of his career. He had time to write a poem, learn a dance, complete his own inspirational montage, yet he read from a sheet, no trace of emotion, "we will never forget the smiles." Followed by Huw Edwards skin-itching tragi-speak "the cauldron...soon to be extinguished...gently...gradually..." until we are all dead.
Arrive Gary Barlow and his man-band. A man grieving from the loss of his baby girl, tragically still born only one week ago. With his opening line he instantly renewed our wonder in London 2012 and evoked such unimaginable pathos that I am reduced to wracking sobs even as I write, "You light the skies up above me, A star so bright you blind me, Don’t close your eyes, Don’t fade away, don’t fade away." Followed by elation. Elation at hearing the little one's voice supporting Gary - Mark, and marvelling at their smart Continental soldier jackets, and that we do have someone who can sing in tune, that the black paddles did have a purpose and that 204 nations are standing on a majestic Union Jack, waving their arms and singing "We Can Rule The World" with marmalade and jam. Tell me the coverage stopped right there, please.
I go promptly to the DirectGov website to nominate Gary Barlow for a Knighthood. He restored a nation's credibility, at the most difficult time in his own life. That is selflessness. That is inspiration. Turns out he already received an OBE in the Queen's Jubilee Honours list. Officer. Not enough. He needs a Knighthood and to be a Sir. I demand it. I'll fill out the forms right now.
These forms are remarkably straight forward. Anyone can be nominated. I wonder. Let's look at some of the awards, what were these people doing when they were 33? Maybe we are all on track for a Knighthood?
Dame Zaha Hadid, made DBE in June 2012, aged 62. Iraqi-British architect responsible for the London 2012 Aquatics Centre design. Degree in Mathematics from the American University of Beirut. Partner at the Office for Metropolitan Architecture by the age of 27. Established her own Architecture practice in London at the age of 30. She goes a bit quiet then, teaching at prestigious institutions around the world, until she is made the first female and first Muslim recipient of the Protzker Architecture Prize (comparable to the Nobel prize) at the age of 54.
Bit of a high achiever from a very early age. What about this one...
Dame Lucy Neville-Rolfe, corporate and legal affairs director at Tesco, made DBE in June 2012 at the age of 59. She has a BA and MA in Politics and Philosophy from Oxford. At 33 she was working in the European Community policy unit on Sheepmeat and Milk. She has 4 children. She wasn't headhunted from the Cabinet Office to Tesco by Sir Terry Leahy until she was 44. She didn't get her first accolade - CMG - to recognise overseas contributions until the age of 52.
Hoorah! Hope! From Sheepmeat and Milk policy to Damehood in 20 years, fitting in 4 children along the way.
Think we should all target Damehood by 60.
In the meanwhile, Sir Barlow, I salute you.
We had been subjected to the bizarre, the bad and the out of tune. We had listened to the most unmoving of key-note speeches. Jacques Rogge, the current President of the IOC had 4 years to prepare for the speech of his career. He had time to write a poem, learn a dance, complete his own inspirational montage, yet he read from a sheet, no trace of emotion, "we will never forget the smiles." Followed by Huw Edwards skin-itching tragi-speak "the cauldron...soon to be extinguished...gently...gradually..." until we are all dead.
Arrive Gary Barlow and his man-band. A man grieving from the loss of his baby girl, tragically still born only one week ago. With his opening line he instantly renewed our wonder in London 2012 and evoked such unimaginable pathos that I am reduced to wracking sobs even as I write, "You light the skies up above me, A star so bright you blind me, Don’t close your eyes, Don’t fade away, don’t fade away." Followed by elation. Elation at hearing the little one's voice supporting Gary - Mark, and marvelling at their smart Continental soldier jackets, and that we do have someone who can sing in tune, that the black paddles did have a purpose and that 204 nations are standing on a majestic Union Jack, waving their arms and singing "We Can Rule The World" with marmalade and jam. Tell me the coverage stopped right there, please.
I go promptly to the DirectGov website to nominate Gary Barlow for a Knighthood. He restored a nation's credibility, at the most difficult time in his own life. That is selflessness. That is inspiration. Turns out he already received an OBE in the Queen's Jubilee Honours list. Officer. Not enough. He needs a Knighthood and to be a Sir. I demand it. I'll fill out the forms right now.
These forms are remarkably straight forward. Anyone can be nominated. I wonder. Let's look at some of the awards, what were these people doing when they were 33? Maybe we are all on track for a Knighthood?
Dame Zaha Hadid, made DBE in June 2012, aged 62. Iraqi-British architect responsible for the London 2012 Aquatics Centre design. Degree in Mathematics from the American University of Beirut. Partner at the Office for Metropolitan Architecture by the age of 27. Established her own Architecture practice in London at the age of 30. She goes a bit quiet then, teaching at prestigious institutions around the world, until she is made the first female and first Muslim recipient of the Protzker Architecture Prize (comparable to the Nobel prize) at the age of 54.
Bit of a high achiever from a very early age. What about this one...
Dame Lucy Neville-Rolfe, corporate and legal affairs director at Tesco, made DBE in June 2012 at the age of 59. She has a BA and MA in Politics and Philosophy from Oxford. At 33 she was working in the European Community policy unit on Sheepmeat and Milk. She has 4 children. She wasn't headhunted from the Cabinet Office to Tesco by Sir Terry Leahy until she was 44. She didn't get her first accolade - CMG - to recognise overseas contributions until the age of 52.
Hoorah! Hope! From Sheepmeat and Milk policy to Damehood in 20 years, fitting in 4 children along the way.
Think we should all target Damehood by 60.
In the meanwhile, Sir Barlow, I salute you.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Target Practice
Success is the achievement of something desired, planned or attempted and London 2012 has offered wonderful examples of athletes tasting success or falling dramatically short, irrespective of the final medal.
British athlete Tom Daley's bronze medal in the individual 10m platform dive gave the BBC3 a record 6.6 million viewers on Saturday night. He made front page of The Sunday Times Olympic section, relegating Luke Campbell, the Gold medal winning boxer, to Page 6. The Guardian ran the headline - 'Tom Daley makes diving bronze seem like gold'. Tom Daley knew that, given the strength of the field and his own capabilities on that day, bronze was the greatest he could achieve.
Stark contrast to the reception for Rebecca Adlington's two bronze medals in the swimming pool, 'Rebecca Adlington beaten into bronze' - Guardian 3rd August, which has left her considering her swimming future. Rebecca was disappointed with her time having swum slower in her 800m final than she did in the British Olympic qualifiers.
We can learn a great deal from our athletes in terms of the value of setting realistic targets and judging our success against them.
How to determine your target? How do we know the extent of your potential?
Turn Up - To even begin to understand your true potential you need to turn up. Our athletes were not selected by luck. They joined swimming clubs and cycling clubs, they worked hard, tried a few different sports and eventually they settled on one that suited them. Play around with the components of your life that you spend your time on. If you don't feel that you can meet your idea of high performance in your life as you currently lead it, think about trying something different that does play to your strengths.
Baseline - Understand your strengths and weaknesses across each of the components of your life. Which components do you naturally excel at? Which do you enjoy most? Which are just fixed time requirements and you need to simply minimise the downside?
Target - Set yourself an achievable goal. Go after it. Smash it. Chose another one. Keep pushing out your targets. You may come to the ceiling of one or many. Decide what to do about that.
Call for help - Identify the support that you need to reach your target. If you are unable to get the support, reassess the feasibility of the target. The best coaches, partners and employers will provide this support seamlessly to maximise your potential.
Time horizon - Schedule your goals. You can achieve anything that you set your mind to, but not all at once. Consider your constraints and plan your aspirations around them and around the aspirations of those that you are close to.
Recognise Success - If you reach your target, recognise it.
All too often we berate ourselves for underachievement of what was always an unrealistic target. Even more frequently we don't celebrate the successful attainment of a target which we might consider to be mediocre in comparison to others.
When you reach the target that you have set for yourself, think of Tom Daley. Celebrate, as if it were Olympic gold, then start training for Rio.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Montage Yourself
John Wilson, the BBC Radio 4 Arts reporter recently presented a show called "Pump Up The Volume" investigating why many people call music sport's "legal drug". In some research studies, music has been shown to increase physical performance by 20 per cent, while reducing an athlete's perception of effort by 10 per cent.
Music doesn't just impact sporting performance though, and it's not just for athletes. We can employ music to drive performance across all components of our life.
Music blocks out the inhibitors to our success; the sound of your heart pumping over-time, the sound of the washing machine going, the soundtrack to your day to day which keeps you firmly rooted in the 'now'. It opens the door to a place in your mind where you are no longer constrained. You are your own definition of greatness for that moment. You can run faster. You have a great idea. You feel 21 again.
Music provides a soundtrack to our thoughts to create a mini-montage of our life in our minds, driving a shot of adrenaline through the body to fuel a burst of inspiration.
Use music when you are working on your aspiration.
Your mind will think you are capable of more. Now just the rest of you needs to catch up.
Music doesn't just impact sporting performance though, and it's not just for athletes. We can employ music to drive performance across all components of our life.
Music blocks out the inhibitors to our success; the sound of your heart pumping over-time, the sound of the washing machine going, the soundtrack to your day to day which keeps you firmly rooted in the 'now'. It opens the door to a place in your mind where you are no longer constrained. You are your own definition of greatness for that moment. You can run faster. You have a great idea. You feel 21 again.
Music provides a soundtrack to our thoughts to create a mini-montage of our life in our minds, driving a shot of adrenaline through the body to fuel a burst of inspiration.
Use music when you are working on your aspiration.
Your mind will think you are capable of more. Now just the rest of you needs to catch up.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Empire State of Mensch
Following my earlier blog - 'If you can't join them, beat them', my attempt at recording an opinion on the facts.
This year she aims to publish her 13th novel, under her married name, “I was longing to brand myself with his name for a very long time. He's a living legend, and to be his wife is the greatest honour.”
She swung the Corby electorate, twitter’s loyal followers should be a walk in the park.
I think I might sign up.
(Thanks to GQ.Com for quotes)
Louise Mensch, the Conservative MP who beat expectations
in 2010 by doubling the long-hoped-for swing of the 13 year Labour seat of Corby
and East Hants, has this week resigned from her post, following a long-time
struggle to find the “best outcome” for her
family.
Mensch, a graduate of Oxford University joined the Young
Conservatives at the age of 14 and was selected as Parliamentary candidate for
Corby in 2006. She was cited in the Insight Public Affairs ‘The Next Generation:
Parliamentary Candidates to Watch’ in 2009, which celebrated the 2 million
copies of her 12 novels, written since her first publishing contract at the age
of 22.
Praised for her comment, “women can have it all, if they
want it all”, Louise has found her life balance increasingly difficult to
optimise since her divorce from her first husband in 2009, with whom she has 3
children now 4, 7, and 8, and marriage to new love Manhattanite and manager of
the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Peter
Mensch.This year she aims to publish her 13th novel, under her married name, “I was longing to brand myself with his name for a very long time. He's a living legend, and to be his wife is the greatest honour.”
Successful
in anything she puts her mind to, Mensch certainly challenges any suggestion of
politics being a Calling. When news of alleged youthful drug-taking broke in
2011 she assumed it would all be over, “There goes my career. I was like - oh
well, easy come, easy go, political
career.”
As well as the beloved new husband,
three children, millions in the bank from her immensely popular novels and
Parliamentary career, she has also recently launched a new social networking
site - Menshn, which, rather foolishly, she claims is not inspired by her own
name. A “niche
complement to twitter”, the site fixes three of twitter’s well publicised
problems: poor topic structure, follower
reach, and offensive use. She swung the Corby electorate, twitter’s loyal followers should be a walk in the park.
I think I might sign up.
(Thanks to GQ.Com for quotes)
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
If you cant join them, beat them
Louise Mensch, Conservative MP for Corby resigns from her
job for the sake of her family life.
It’s exhausting.
Another day, another story of a woman who has given up
her ‘high profile’ career.
Exhausting is the effort needed to unpick these
stories, to scrape off the media slap and consider the bare face of the facts.
Why bother? Well, we can understand
deep-rooted perception by how people are portrayed in the media, and also we
may just learn something about a better balanced life.
And my goodness you have to watch the journalists,
because they care about this story only insofar as it fits around a point that
they got up this morning already wanting to make. The available data is moulded
around the journalist’s hypothesis with unwanted extras left lying on the
cutting room floor.
The Telegraph Political bloggers have been vocal on this
topic so I looked at their three posts.
Iain Martin, in his blog ‘The Louise Mensch Show was always going to end in
tears’ tells the tale of the failure of
a self-obsessed allrounder, a ‘blow up’
which he predicted coming. He sagely warns the PM to be more
careful who he backs next time. He
employs buzz words to create drama – ‘careerism’ (twice), ‘Chick-Lit’, along with nonsensical statements "Some seem to have been given the impression that
politics would work around their needs .. with no need for any of that awkward
business of mastering the Commons or honing a worldview.”
Lord Norman Tebbitt’s
blog, ‘The case of Louise Mensch is a good example of why the Tory grassroots
have lost confidence in the national Party' questions today's relaxed
approach to the office of MP, “It is the apparently casual attitude of Mrs
Mensch towards the obligations she had undertaken which concerns me: it is as
if these days being a Member of Parliament is no more than a job”.
Damian Thompson, Telegraph Blogs Editor, 'Louise Mensch quits.
So why did she bother becoming an MP in the first place?' aims
to incite anger against Mensch, “Louise
is going to have to come up with something pretty convincing if she isn't going
to leave people thinking: she got elected, got bored and flounced out” and employs
mild threat to underline his point, “Corby Conservatives..may have a few
messages to tweet back at her”.
For what it is worth,
here is my take:
Empire State of Mensch
Louise Mensch, the Conservative MP who beat
expectations in 2010 by doubling the long-hoped-for swing of the 13 year Labour
seat of Corby and East Hants, has this week resigned from her post, following a
long-time struggle to find the “best outcome” for her family.
Mensch, a graduate of Oxford University joined the Young
Conservatives at the age of 14 and was selected as Parliamentary candidate for
Corby in 2006. She was cited in the Insight Public Affairs ‘The Next
Generation: Parliamentary Candidates to Watch’ in 2009, which celebrated the 2
million copies of her 12 novels, written since her first publishing
contract at the age of 22.
Praised for her comment, “women can have it all, if
they want it all”, Louise has found her life balance increasingly difficult to optimise
since her divorce from her first husband in 2009, with whom she has 3 children
now 4, 7, and 8, and marriage to new love Manhattanite and manager of the Red
Hot Chili Peppers, Peter Mensch.
This year she aims to publish her 13th
novel, under her married name, “I was longing to brand myself with his name for a very long
time. He's a living legend, and to be his wife is the greatest honour.”
Successful in anything she puts her mind to, Mensch certainly challenges any suggestion of politics being a Calling. When news of alleged youthful drug-taking
broke in 2011 she assumed it would all be over, “There goes my career. I was
like - oh well, easy come, easy go, political career.”
As well as the beloved new husband, three children, millions in
the bank from her immensely popular novels and Parliamentary career, she has
also recently launched a new social networking site - Menshn, which, rather
foolishly, she claims is not inspired by her own name. A “niche complement to
twitter”, the site fixes three of twitter’s well publicised problems: poor topic structure, follower reach, and
offensive use.
She swung the Corby electorate, twitter’s
loyal followers should be a walk in the park.
I think I might sign up.
(Thanks to GQ.Com for reporting)
____________________
When you
look at the news of Mensch’s resignation objectively, you see a highly
intelligent, hugely successful individual who is understandably not happy with
the sub-optimal situation of throwing herself across three different locations:
her constituency, London and New York, and who has every possible opportunity
to make a small change to fix it.
The fact is that anyone
with options, determination and self-belief will simply step over obstacles in the way
of optimal life satisfaction. The trick for employers is to make their offering the most attractive, with the least number of obstacles.
Lord
Tebbitt. Being MP of Corby probably was ‘just a job’ and one that she was very
good at when she brought her party to victory. A life in Politics does not have
the appeal it once did, ambivalence is rife as a result of what has gone before.
As for
loyalty, Iain, Mensch loyally called out that Cameron had done everything in
his power as an employer to help her. As a 'Leading Political Commentator', why don’t
you call upon Cameron to focus on the power of his own leadership to drive
greater passion and numbers to his party to solve such retention and succession issues.
And Damian, Louise
doesn’t have to convince anyone of anything. The facts are there. She didn’t ‘flounce’
out. She gathered her kids, got on a First Class flight to New York to live
with the manager of the world’s coolest band where, undoubtedly, she will knock
her latest endeavour out of the park.
Jealousy is
a terrible thing and all three Telegraph blogs smack of ‘if you can’t join
them, beat them.’
Next…
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
A generation inspired or intimidated?
Suzanne Collins Hunger Games Trilogy, the story of a futuristic
world where a girl and boy are chosen by lottery to fight to the death for the
nation’s entertainment, has sold 35 million copies at last count.
The tactical, suspense-filled game of immaculately presented
cat and mouse, with a ferocious hunt to the line for an earth-shattering finale
very much came to mind as I watched the ladies cycling sprint final. Add to the tension an audio-visual feast of
high-definition race graphics, immaculate athletes introduced to the audience
via mini-montage to the accompaniment of the futuristic chimes of the Chemical
Brothers, and I felt that I was truly getting a glimpse of the future.
The future of British sport is a Dave Brailsford (Performance
Director for GB Cycling) world, where a simple formula is employed to devastating
effect: talent + commitment + coaching +
research and development + attention to detail = high performance. To see
Victoria Pendleton fully clad in her armour moments before the ladies sprint
final is to look at the face of Medusa. Terrifying and fatal.
Despite our epic success at London 2012, in Brailsford’s own
words: “we need to work on the link between inspiration and participation.”
Undoubtedly these Games have dangled the carrot of celebrity and immense personal
satisfaction to the masses, but they have also re-fortified the barrier of the physiological
and material pre-requisites needed to win, and the crushing implications of
failure.
Rather than inspired, are Britain’s future greats, who are perhaps a little shorter than they should be, or a little over 25, or don’t
live in Manchester, or own nothing but a pair of plimsolls, entirely intimidated?
To inspire the masses to participate, it
is crucial to not extinguish the flicker of greatness with over-bearing
pre-requisite.
As well as our stellar medal count, I will be telling my
kids about the Afghantistan woman Tahmina Kohistani , who I witnessed run the 100
metres wearing a full habib, come last in her heat, but with a lifetime best, “I am here to begin a new era for the women
of Afghanistan to show people that ..There is no difference between us”.
About the double amputee Oscar
Pistorius, the first to compete at the Olympics and Paralympics, who raced to the 400 metre semi-final. About the 54 year old Nick Skelton who jumped
a faultless round in the team showjumping for gold, following hip replacement
and a broken neck.
These are the athletes who inspire me to put my running
shoes on. To believe that at 33, 5’4”, and parent of 2, magic may still one day
happen. Because if I don’t believe that,
let alone if I let my children believe it, what would be the point of turning
up at all?
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
What's your time horizon?
Professor Kay of the London School of Economics last week published his report, "The Kay Review of UK Equity Markets and Long-Term Decision Making". The 'probe' into the financial sector was intended to consider the extent to which the UK equity market is excessively focused on short-term outcomes, to the detriment of its 'core role' in facilitating investment and enabling long-term profitability and growth.
What relevance to you in your quest for greater life satisfaction, other than the obvious hits that your savings are likely to have taken?
Think of your life satisfaction as the primary asset of Life Satisfaction Ltd of which you are the boss, the Chief Executive Officer (CEO). Following one of our earlier concepts, 'CEO of You', you are also the major shareholder hoping to maximise your return from Life Satisfaction Ltd's success.
So, let's play in today's equity market.
Kay's critique of the UK equity markets is that in an increasingly unstable and complex market, the trust and confidence in delivering a long term financial benefit has been replaced with the desire for short term gain. Added to this is the fact that the value of the company is increasingly affected by what other's think of it, driving further short term impulsive action.
In essence, all those involved in the company are taking quicker decisions on how to maximise their asset value today based on insufficient consideration of a long term trends, combined with a concern as to what others are thinking, at the expense of delivering a long term benefit.
Maybe we can understand after all how the equity fund managers and the country's best CEO's have got us to where we are.
At Professor Kay's report presentation, he stated: "This isn’t – let’s emphasise – because people are not trying to do the right thing, as they see it. It is because they are responding to the incentives created by the environment in which they operate."
So, how to assess the value of your life satisfaction asset, and how to incentivise yourself to a longer term view?
There are two bases for asset valuation:
1. The value of cash and earnings that it will generate over its life - if you were to invest in it
2. What someone else is willing to pay for that asset - if you were to trade it
Both bases play a part when looking to maximise your life satisfaction. Certainly it is worth focusing on the value of life satisfaction over as long a term as feasible. Giving up work to spend time with your children may not be the best strategy in optimising life satisfaction when considering a 15 year time horizon. Pursuing that promotion at the expense of your health will not be the best strategy over the same period. The aim here is sustainability.
How can you sustainably deliver a high value of life satisfaction over your lifetime? If you are eco minded, you may even consider extending to consideration of your future generations. Incentivise yourself to meet the targets that you set for yourself across your Life Scorecard over time, not just one component today.
It's also worth considering what you would trade your life satisfaction for. Get to the point that you wouldn't want to trade your life for anyone's and you know you are on to a winner.
What relevance to you in your quest for greater life satisfaction, other than the obvious hits that your savings are likely to have taken?
Think of your life satisfaction as the primary asset of Life Satisfaction Ltd of which you are the boss, the Chief Executive Officer (CEO). Following one of our earlier concepts, 'CEO of You', you are also the major shareholder hoping to maximise your return from Life Satisfaction Ltd's success.
So, let's play in today's equity market.
Kay's critique of the UK equity markets is that in an increasingly unstable and complex market, the trust and confidence in delivering a long term financial benefit has been replaced with the desire for short term gain. Added to this is the fact that the value of the company is increasingly affected by what other's think of it, driving further short term impulsive action.
In essence, all those involved in the company are taking quicker decisions on how to maximise their asset value today based on insufficient consideration of a long term trends, combined with a concern as to what others are thinking, at the expense of delivering a long term benefit.
Maybe we can understand after all how the equity fund managers and the country's best CEO's have got us to where we are.
At Professor Kay's report presentation, he stated: "This isn’t – let’s emphasise – because people are not trying to do the right thing, as they see it. It is because they are responding to the incentives created by the environment in which they operate."
So, how to assess the value of your life satisfaction asset, and how to incentivise yourself to a longer term view?
There are two bases for asset valuation:
1. The value of cash and earnings that it will generate over its life - if you were to invest in it
2. What someone else is willing to pay for that asset - if you were to trade it
Both bases play a part when looking to maximise your life satisfaction. Certainly it is worth focusing on the value of life satisfaction over as long a term as feasible. Giving up work to spend time with your children may not be the best strategy in optimising life satisfaction when considering a 15 year time horizon. Pursuing that promotion at the expense of your health will not be the best strategy over the same period. The aim here is sustainability.
How can you sustainably deliver a high value of life satisfaction over your lifetime? If you are eco minded, you may even consider extending to consideration of your future generations. Incentivise yourself to meet the targets that you set for yourself across your Life Scorecard over time, not just one component today.
It's also worth considering what you would trade your life satisfaction for. Get to the point that you wouldn't want to trade your life for anyone's and you know you are on to a winner.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
I've got a rod. Now to learn to fish
“Give a man a fish and he will feed himself for a
day, but give the means to catch a fish and he will feed himself and his family
for a lifetime.”
In the words of Marketing Magazine’s Andrew
Marsden, “The Oxfam campaign..sells hope. Hope that something can be done…The
campaign is mould-breaking... It aims to find long-term solutions, rather than
short-term emergency help.”
The fish
and rod proverb has often come to my mind when discussing life balance, quite
simply because I feel so many of us are turning to short-term help, rather than
long term sustainable solutions.
A dear friend commented on this website that she had been “treading water until something magically happens by itself”. Many employers are at a loss as to what else they can do to raise the happiness and diversity of their staff. In most professional firms, flexible working is now available to all, yet women continue to be poorly represented at senior level, and in the UK we are coming up to our 13th National Stress Awareness Day (7th November 2012). A sense of hopelessness emerges.
A dear friend commented on this website that she had been “treading water until something magically happens by itself”. Many employers are at a loss as to what else they can do to raise the happiness and diversity of their staff. In most professional firms, flexible working is now available to all, yet women continue to be poorly represented at senior level, and in the UK we are coming up to our 13th National Stress Awareness Day (7th November 2012). A sense of hopelessness emerges.
Look to
the origin of this phrase and the poignancy is remarkable. Originally
quoted in the work of a 19th Century author, Anne Thackeray Ritchie
and her 1885 much celebrated novel Mrs Dymond, the heroine shuns the
passivity of a widow grieving her ‘duty’ husband, and determines to radically change
her life by marrying for love. Ohio State Press describes Anne Thackeray as
‘revolutionary’.
“..all gifts should be spiritual and capable of infinite division?’… ‘I suppose
the Patron meant that if you give a man a fish he will be hungry again in an
hour. If you teach him to catch a fish then you do him a good turn. But these
very elementary principles are apt to clash with the leisure of the cultivated
classes.’"
Written by a ‘revolutionary’ author, about a heroine who has an ‘overwhelming desire to change her life’, observing a discussion on the value of possessions for the ‘cultivated class’.
Less
remarkable is the subsequent Oxfam use of the proverb in support of their 2011
International Women’s Day campaign – a campaign
which, true to form for this annual event, holds the dubious honour of
patronising both men and women
simultaneously: “Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.
Teach a woman to fish……she’ll teach her friends, set up a business, and pretty
soon the whole village is on the mend!”
I now
hold Anne Ritchie in such high esteem that I will deface her words no further.
However, my belief is that the vast majority of professional employers, and the Government, through equality, life and family balance policies, have moved away from handing out fish and have given many of us a rod.
All we now need to do is
learn how to use it and we will have fish aplenty.
Any company truly hoping to improve their employee engagement will need to provide lessons, and the cultivated classes will need to want to go.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Down with Work Life Balance!
According to Paul McFedries excellent Wordspy website www.wordspy.com, the phrase 'Work Life Balance' was coined in 1986. The phrase appeared sporadically in papers across the world over the subsequent 10 years, rising to 34 mentions in the Nexis newspaper sample in 1997. Four years later, 435 mentions across the sample. By 2010 over 1500 'Work Life Balance' mentions. The media (and therefore the people) were becoming obsessed. Then, thank goodness, a drop.
Long may this decline continue. Down with Work Life Balance! And down with the nonsense update "Life Work Balance", too!
We must give huge thanks to the early pioneers of greater life balance. In 2002, for example, Simon Murphy, the leader of Britain's Labour MEP's, walked away from the "undoubted rewards of a fulfilling ego-boosting career" in order to spend more time with his family.
Ground-breaking at the time, his explanatory statement - "Being a father and a husband is my number one priority even at the cost of a career I have spent my adult life pursuing", made headline national news and was covered in numerous comment columns.
Though in so many ways inspirational, even today, his decision also feels terribly depressing.
This idea that a successful, fulfilling career is incompatible with spending time with the family must be challenged. Yet, in fact, I believe we are exacerbating the problem by continuing our quest for this outdated view of balance - 1,452 newspaper mentions of the phrase persisted in 2011.
Balance is defined as 'an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady'. By adding the words 'work' and 'life' we understand that we are looking for an even distribution of weight across the two, as on a pair of scales.
The very notion of work and life being equally and oppositely weighted is both un-inspirational and overly simplified. It suggests that we:
1.) Target working more than the standard working hours (standard working hours, 5 days a week, a 16 hour day awake - work should account for less than one third of our wakeful time)
2.) Pitch the whole of the rest of our life components against one, work.
Thank goodness that we have made some progress. That, for many, nowadays, being a parent and a partner is a "number one priority". However, for many others it is simply not acceptable, nor optimal for our economy, to walk away from the "fulfilling, ego boosting..career that we have spent our life pursuing". We need to be fulfilled and we need our egos to be boosted.
I would like to suggest that we take a rather more sophisticated approach. We aim for a 'balanced life'.
A truly balanced life is determined by the individual on their own terms and can be captured in their own, highly personalised Life Scorecard. Each component is intricately weighted, targeted and assessed. It can't be simplified to two components on a set of weighing scales.
Long may this decline continue. Down with Work Life Balance! And down with the nonsense update "Life Work Balance", too!
We must give huge thanks to the early pioneers of greater life balance. In 2002, for example, Simon Murphy, the leader of Britain's Labour MEP's, walked away from the "undoubted rewards of a fulfilling ego-boosting career" in order to spend more time with his family.
Ground-breaking at the time, his explanatory statement - "Being a father and a husband is my number one priority even at the cost of a career I have spent my adult life pursuing", made headline national news and was covered in numerous comment columns.
Though in so many ways inspirational, even today, his decision also feels terribly depressing.
This idea that a successful, fulfilling career is incompatible with spending time with the family must be challenged. Yet, in fact, I believe we are exacerbating the problem by continuing our quest for this outdated view of balance - 1,452 newspaper mentions of the phrase persisted in 2011.
Balance is defined as 'an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady'. By adding the words 'work' and 'life' we understand that we are looking for an even distribution of weight across the two, as on a pair of scales.
The very notion of work and life being equally and oppositely weighted is both un-inspirational and overly simplified. It suggests that we:
1.) Target working more than the standard working hours (standard working hours, 5 days a week, a 16 hour day awake - work should account for less than one third of our wakeful time)
2.) Pitch the whole of the rest of our life components against one, work.
Thank goodness that we have made some progress. That, for many, nowadays, being a parent and a partner is a "number one priority". However, for many others it is simply not acceptable, nor optimal for our economy, to walk away from the "fulfilling, ego boosting..career that we have spent our life pursuing". We need to be fulfilled and we need our egos to be boosted.
I would like to suggest that we take a rather more sophisticated approach. We aim for a 'balanced life'.
A truly balanced life is determined by the individual on their own terms and can be captured in their own, highly personalised Life Scorecard. Each component is intricately weighted, targeted and assessed. It can't be simplified to two components on a set of weighing scales.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Feedback Junkie
This week the Government has announced its strategy for dealing with the prevalence of mental health problems in our country, the cost of which has recently been estimated at 105 billion pounds. This number might as well read 'a gazillion' for all it registers. Nick Clegg's comment, however, "too many people suffer in silence with mental health issues", is something that I can understand.
According to the Government's definition in the strategy paper, No Health Without Mental Health, "mental health problems are problems with someone's mind that make it difficult for them to live a normal life", the paper estimates that one in four of us will experience mental health problems at some point in our life.
To recap:
One in four of us will, at some point, have a problem with our mind which makes it difficult to live a normal life.
Quite a chilling statement when you look at it like that.
The website of the charity Mind (www.mind.org.uk) sets out mental health diagnoses and conditions in a convenient A-Z list (examples below). I imagine that the list would make uncomfortable reading on a tired day, or simply a factual list of the by-products of my life on a good one:
Anger
Addiction
Eating problems
Mania
Obsessive-Compulsive
Self-Esteem
Sleep-Problems
Stress
Worry
I sense that the list is ever-evolving as additional cases come to light. Sex addiction, for example, was only recognised as a psychiatric disorder by the NHS in 2011, following extensive public discussion after Tiger Woods noted infidelity.
One currently unlisted addiction has been the subject of some ridicule in the past, but I wouldn't be surprised if it made a late 2012 entry. That is, the need for constant approval.
Smirk as you may, but one author, Joyce Meyer, has distributed over 3 million copies worldwide of her book 'Approval Addiction - Overcoming the Need to Please', from which I quote: “So many people these days have an unhealthy need for constant affirmation and are unable to feel good about themselves without it....If you want to be unhappy, uncomfortable, and insecure, just spend your life trying to do something that is not right for you. It is just like trying to wear shoes that don’t fit.”
I sense that a large number of us do something that we don't want to do, such as being at work when we'd rather be bathing the kids, or don't do something that we do want to do, like being at work rather than bathing the kids, because we feel it is the acceptable thing. Interestingly, I also regularly wear uncomfortable shoes that don't fit.
Meyer's prescribed treatment is to work on your faith in God. She has found that God gives her all the approval she needs now. "Our desire for approval can only truly be met by receiving God’s acceptance and approval of us", she says.
This is bitter methadone for the feedback junkie who, keen to do the socially acceptable thing, was unsuccessful in convincing the church to Baptise her non-church-going children.
So what other cure for approval addiction?
Reading again the Mind website, I conclude that working on your self-esteem is the best action to overcome the feedback junkie in you.
They suggest the following 10 tips to boost self-esteem:
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
2. Don’t put yourself down.
3. Get into the habit of thinking and saying positive things about yourself to yourself.
4. Accept compliments.
5. Use self-help books and websites to help you change your beliefs.
6. Spend time with positive supportive people.
7. Acknowledge your positive qualities and things you are good at.
8. Be assertive, don’t allow people to treat you with a lack of respect.
9. Be helpful and considerate to others.
10. Engage in work and hobbies that you enjoy.
I buy some, not all, of these as treatment for approval addiction. Point 5 is clearly just written in the Mind website's own interest.
Sorry Mind website, I really hope I haven't offended you by saying that.
Oh dear, I shouldn't have said that.
Instead, to continue Meyer's analogy, I say; find a pair of shoes that you really like and wear them in until they feel perfect. And, just occasionally, imagine yourself wearing someone elses.
Ps.) Why do I always do that? I've probably upset Mind now. Sorry.
According to the Government's definition in the strategy paper, No Health Without Mental Health, "mental health problems are problems with someone's mind that make it difficult for them to live a normal life", the paper estimates that one in four of us will experience mental health problems at some point in our life.
To recap:
One in four of us will, at some point, have a problem with our mind which makes it difficult to live a normal life.
Quite a chilling statement when you look at it like that.
The website of the charity Mind (www.mind.org.uk) sets out mental health diagnoses and conditions in a convenient A-Z list (examples below). I imagine that the list would make uncomfortable reading on a tired day, or simply a factual list of the by-products of my life on a good one:
Anger
Addiction
Eating problems
Mania
Obsessive-Compulsive
Self-Esteem
Sleep-Problems
Stress
Worry
I sense that the list is ever-evolving as additional cases come to light. Sex addiction, for example, was only recognised as a psychiatric disorder by the NHS in 2011, following extensive public discussion after Tiger Woods noted infidelity.
One currently unlisted addiction has been the subject of some ridicule in the past, but I wouldn't be surprised if it made a late 2012 entry. That is, the need for constant approval.
Smirk as you may, but one author, Joyce Meyer, has distributed over 3 million copies worldwide of her book 'Approval Addiction - Overcoming the Need to Please', from which I quote: “So many people these days have an unhealthy need for constant affirmation and are unable to feel good about themselves without it....If you want to be unhappy, uncomfortable, and insecure, just spend your life trying to do something that is not right for you. It is just like trying to wear shoes that don’t fit.”
I sense that a large number of us do something that we don't want to do, such as being at work when we'd rather be bathing the kids, or don't do something that we do want to do, like being at work rather than bathing the kids, because we feel it is the acceptable thing. Interestingly, I also regularly wear uncomfortable shoes that don't fit.
Meyer's prescribed treatment is to work on your faith in God. She has found that God gives her all the approval she needs now. "Our desire for approval can only truly be met by receiving God’s acceptance and approval of us", she says.
This is bitter methadone for the feedback junkie who, keen to do the socially acceptable thing, was unsuccessful in convincing the church to Baptise her non-church-going children.
So what other cure for approval addiction?
Reading again the Mind website, I conclude that working on your self-esteem is the best action to overcome the feedback junkie in you.
They suggest the following 10 tips to boost self-esteem:
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
2. Don’t put yourself down.
3. Get into the habit of thinking and saying positive things about yourself to yourself.
4. Accept compliments.
5. Use self-help books and websites to help you change your beliefs.
6. Spend time with positive supportive people.
7. Acknowledge your positive qualities and things you are good at.
8. Be assertive, don’t allow people to treat you with a lack of respect.
9. Be helpful and considerate to others.
10. Engage in work and hobbies that you enjoy.
I buy some, not all, of these as treatment for approval addiction. Point 5 is clearly just written in the Mind website's own interest.
Sorry Mind website, I really hope I haven't offended you by saying that.
Oh dear, I shouldn't have said that.
Instead, to continue Meyer's analogy, I say; find a pair of shoes that you really like and wear them in until they feel perfect. And, just occasionally, imagine yourself wearing someone elses.
Ps.) Why do I always do that? I've probably upset Mind now. Sorry.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Does something gotta give?
Put "something's gotta give meaning" into Google and 221,000,000 results are returned.
It appears that many before me have decided to ponder what this so oft-used expression actually means. It is one of those passive aggressive phrases wheeled out when discussing how to live, or how you should live your life.
I like this definition from wiki.answers.com:
In the most common sense of the phrase it means that that a given situation cannot remain the same forever and will surely change.
So, let's ponder on a recent use of this phrase discussed on this very site, inserting the new definition that I now have:
"As all working parents know, when it comes to balancing work and family, something has to give."
Becomes:
"As all working parents know, when it comes to balancing work and family, this situation cannot remain the same forever and will surely change."
Do you know? I think I might have underestimated my fellow blogger on the Wall Street Journal. What I dismissed as patronising, non-sensical drivel was actually truly inspired.
I could not agree more. When balancing work, family, or indeed any of the components of your Life Scorecard, the situation cannot remain the same forever and will surely change. And would we want it any other way?
Could you imagine a scenario where you made a decision about how your life was going to go at, say, university leaving age or post honeymoon, or post first child or post second child or, you know, tomorrow, and made no plans to change it again? Not only would you be absolutely incapable of flexing to events as they are thrown at you but you would also be rooted in a life-style better suited to a different you. In at least one of those scenarios, I would be sentenced to a life wearing overly baggy jeans and tummy tops, aiming to look like Gerri Halliwel in the 'It's Raining Men' video, frequenting all-nighter drum and bass events and eating nothing but satsumas.
Thank goodness life can change. The important thing is that you are the one who controls the change. As previously noted, you are the CEO of your life project. If there is a change, or you wish to effect a change, you can decide what you want to do. The good news is that you have four levers at your disposal: quantity, standard, schedule and budget.
1. Change the quantity of the life components that you are trying to deliver. Cut back on one of your hobbies or add one. Cut down your number of days of work or build it up.
2. Change the standard of what you are trying to achieve. Turn up to the triathlon with lower expectations of your placing. Get a takeaway when your friends are coming round, don't cook. Spend better quality time with your children with no mobile devices.
3. Re-schedule your plans. Accept that you wont make sub 2 hours in the half marathon this year, you'll do it next year instead. Decide that this is the year to go for the Partner promotion.
4. Flex your budget. Find additional childcare. Find a house keeper to help out. Cut down your grocery bill or go on a cheap holiday this year.
Whatever it takes. You're the boss. You're driving this project and if you do a good job, when something gives, you are absolutely able to accommodate it. And don't forget, as the boss, you reserve the right to change your life strategy at a moment's notice.
Daily exercise:
Play Cliché Bingo with me.
First to find a newspaper article that has the following wins a prize:
In the most common sense of the phrase it means that that a given situation cannot remain the same forever and will surely change.
Play Cliché Bingo with me.
First to find a newspaper article that has the following wins a prize:
- Something's got to give
- Work Life Balance
- Thorny issue
- Professional woman
- High profile
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Marissa Mayer Madness
Marissa Mayer is made CEO of Yahoo, whilst 7 months pregnant. The scandal! Or, you know, just, cool. I have selected one of the myriad blogs out there for consideration and comment. This one from the Wall Street Journal. I'll name no names. There is no witch hunt here....
"Can women have it all?" All what? The pie?
"That thorny issue..." 'Thorny' definition: Having many thorns. Ouch. Proceed with caution or wear gloves.
"Play out in real life on a very high-profile stage..." Sorry, what's the play? How one particular woman, Marissa Mayer, lives her life as the CEO of Yahoo, mother of one, keen shopper, friend and wife? I am almost entirely sure that this play will have some incredibly boring scenes.
"[Her being pregnant] was not part of the consideration,” said one person close to the situation about the former Google exec". OK. I like this comment. Clear. Fact.
"And while it should go without saying that personal issues should not make a difference, they often can and do." Well, your constantly writing about them before any top female announcement does exacerbate that.
"Not by the Yahoo board, apparently, which weighed only Mayer’s techie credentials in selecting her." Sounds pretty sensible when selecting a new CEO candidate for a failing tech firm. I do wonder whether the management should have considered the candidate's experience in running a large business, though. None.
“Like every other professional woman, she has to weigh all the factors in doing her job and having a family.” Unless all professional women are also single mothers, this is also a factor for the male working population, and to suggest otherwise is a bit mean to the chaps who have turned down multi-million jobs in Los Angeles as Brad Pitt's body double, to hang out with their loved ones in Tooting. Right lads?
"As much as we might like to pretend that a woman can just pop out a baby and get right back to her pre-pregnancy life." Let's face it. Pretty much any woman loves to pretend that she can pop out a baby and get back to her pre-pregnancy life. If we didn't believe that were possible, we may drown ourselves in the birthing pool. "That just isn't so". Party pooper. "And it shouldn't be". OK, now you are judging me, and that's annoying.
"There’s also the matter of recovering from a physical trauma". Physical trauma? The vast majority of, though not all, deliveries are not traumatic. Added to which, if she was in trauma, I am pretty sure she would not be going into the office and would instead be benefiting from the exemplary medical care at her disposal. She is having a baby, she's not an idiot. "hormones on overdrive", good ones though that make you be able to deal with the "temporary psychosis brought on by sleep deprivation", at least for the first 3 months. Think this is panic mongering.
"I would counsel any friend to take as long a leave as she can and bond as much as possible with her baby". What's the definition of 'bonding'? What's the definition of 'as much as possible'? No pressure girls. I don't think I want to be friends with you if doing so would involve this type of sanctimonious conversation.
"However, she is in a bit of a bind". M'lud - patronising!
"She can’t linger at home when Yahoo shareholders are waiting for a transformation". Again, panic mongering. She has a phone.
"Mayer is accomplished (true), glamorous (relevant?), brilliant (same as 'accomplished'? Or is this the French term 'shiny'?), powerful (how much wattage does she push out on the final sprint up the Champs Elysees?), a pioneer in a male-dominated industry (can't argue) and wealthy enough to afford any help she might need (none of your business). But she’s still human (really? even though she is so glamorous and shiny?).
"As all working parents know, when it comes to balancing work and family, something has to give." Top athletes will tell you that, as a top athlete, you can no longer eat pie everyday. Something has to give. Top mothers will tell you that, as a top mother who delivers absolute perfection in her children, you can no longer sit on the sofa and smoke crack cocaine, something has to give. This comment assumes working parents to be superior in knowledge to the rest of humankind. Which is clearly only partly true.
"Many people envision a baby as an adorable, babbling accessory." Really? You clearly don't have young relatives, visit the supermarket or go out ever in South West London.
"I thought that I’d be able to keep up with hobbies, friends and my prior work hours. It didn’t work out that way." Did you do some of the exercises that we have discussed in this blog? Do you have a good support structure in place? Do you know what you aspire to be? Do you feel inspired to go after that?
Thought not.
Please Wall Street Journal blog writer, don't concern yourself with the Life Scorecard of Marissa Mayer and how she plans to optimise it, it really is her concern and I am sure she has a wonderful team in place to help her with it. Think about your own life. Focus on that. I am sure that if she needs a friend, she will find you.
"Can women have it all?" All what? The pie?
"That thorny issue..." 'Thorny' definition: Having many thorns. Ouch. Proceed with caution or wear gloves.
"Play out in real life on a very high-profile stage..." Sorry, what's the play? How one particular woman, Marissa Mayer, lives her life as the CEO of Yahoo, mother of one, keen shopper, friend and wife? I am almost entirely sure that this play will have some incredibly boring scenes.
"[Her being pregnant] was not part of the consideration,” said one person close to the situation about the former Google exec". OK. I like this comment. Clear. Fact.
"And while it should go without saying that personal issues should not make a difference, they often can and do." Well, your constantly writing about them before any top female announcement does exacerbate that.
"Not by the Yahoo board, apparently, which weighed only Mayer’s techie credentials in selecting her." Sounds pretty sensible when selecting a new CEO candidate for a failing tech firm. I do wonder whether the management should have considered the candidate's experience in running a large business, though. None.
“Like every other professional woman, she has to weigh all the factors in doing her job and having a family.” Unless all professional women are also single mothers, this is also a factor for the male working population, and to suggest otherwise is a bit mean to the chaps who have turned down multi-million jobs in Los Angeles as Brad Pitt's body double, to hang out with their loved ones in Tooting. Right lads?
"As much as we might like to pretend that a woman can just pop out a baby and get right back to her pre-pregnancy life." Let's face it. Pretty much any woman loves to pretend that she can pop out a baby and get back to her pre-pregnancy life. If we didn't believe that were possible, we may drown ourselves in the birthing pool. "That just isn't so". Party pooper. "And it shouldn't be". OK, now you are judging me, and that's annoying.
"There’s also the matter of recovering from a physical trauma". Physical trauma? The vast majority of, though not all, deliveries are not traumatic. Added to which, if she was in trauma, I am pretty sure she would not be going into the office and would instead be benefiting from the exemplary medical care at her disposal. She is having a baby, she's not an idiot. "hormones on overdrive", good ones though that make you be able to deal with the "temporary psychosis brought on by sleep deprivation", at least for the first 3 months. Think this is panic mongering.
"I would counsel any friend to take as long a leave as she can and bond as much as possible with her baby". What's the definition of 'bonding'? What's the definition of 'as much as possible'? No pressure girls. I don't think I want to be friends with you if doing so would involve this type of sanctimonious conversation.
"However, she is in a bit of a bind". M'lud - patronising!
"She can’t linger at home when Yahoo shareholders are waiting for a transformation". Again, panic mongering. She has a phone.
"Mayer is accomplished (true), glamorous (relevant?), brilliant (same as 'accomplished'? Or is this the French term 'shiny'?), powerful (how much wattage does she push out on the final sprint up the Champs Elysees?), a pioneer in a male-dominated industry (can't argue) and wealthy enough to afford any help she might need (none of your business). But she’s still human (really? even though she is so glamorous and shiny?).
"As all working parents know, when it comes to balancing work and family, something has to give." Top athletes will tell you that, as a top athlete, you can no longer eat pie everyday. Something has to give. Top mothers will tell you that, as a top mother who delivers absolute perfection in her children, you can no longer sit on the sofa and smoke crack cocaine, something has to give. This comment assumes working parents to be superior in knowledge to the rest of humankind. Which is clearly only partly true.
"Many people envision a baby as an adorable, babbling accessory." Really? You clearly don't have young relatives, visit the supermarket or go out ever in South West London.
"I thought that I’d be able to keep up with hobbies, friends and my prior work hours. It didn’t work out that way." Did you do some of the exercises that we have discussed in this blog? Do you have a good support structure in place? Do you know what you aspire to be? Do you feel inspired to go after that?
Thought not.
Please Wall Street Journal blog writer, don't concern yourself with the Life Scorecard of Marissa Mayer and how she plans to optimise it, it really is her concern and I am sure she has a wonderful team in place to help her with it. Think about your own life. Focus on that. I am sure that if she needs a friend, she will find you.
The pursuit of greatness
Bradley Wiggins wins the Tour de France, the first British man to do so.
Achievements of this kind recalibrate the greatness scale for us all. We have witnessed absolute single-minded determination in pursuit of a goal. Wiggins own words, "Last year after I crashed I watched Cadel win the Tour and I saw how happy he looked and I wanted to feel what he was feeling. I'd broken my collarbone but that night I got on my turbo. I was inspired by him and if I can inspire someone else, that's incredible."
The value of having a truly inspirational role model, who is himself inspired by inspiring you, cannot be understated. We are lacking enough of these people in these days where people are in the limelight for 'what', not 'how' they are doing. Many sports would struggle to name a single modern-day equivalent.
But the single-minded pursuit of greatness, is this something to emulate? We should remember that Bradley Wiggins is a man at the very top of his game. A man focused on one goal, supported by not just the most inspirational sporting team that I have witnessed since Clive Woodward's 2003 Rugby World Cup winning team, but a loving family orbiting around his goal. In Wiggins own words: "There's my family and my kids who've had to put up with me for the last four years. They've had to live with my burden, which is trying to win the Tour."
What can us humble mortals take from this - that majority of us who are not free to focus on just one life component, don't have omni-present support crew, and are not able or willing to optimise our own Life Scorecard independently of the considerations of others?
I'm going to take comfort from another of Bradley Wiggins comments on the matter, "This is certainly my greatest sporting achievement...this is only sport, it's not life and death...I've got a lot more things in my life which are more important than this."
Your daily exercise: What's the definition of greatness for you in your life? Write it down on that same sheet of paper. Bradley had the goal of winning the Tour de France from 11 years old, what has your goal always been? What is it now? Rank the various activities that make up your life, your life components, in order of importance for you.
Achievements of this kind recalibrate the greatness scale for us all. We have witnessed absolute single-minded determination in pursuit of a goal. Wiggins own words, "Last year after I crashed I watched Cadel win the Tour and I saw how happy he looked and I wanted to feel what he was feeling. I'd broken my collarbone but that night I got on my turbo. I was inspired by him and if I can inspire someone else, that's incredible."
The value of having a truly inspirational role model, who is himself inspired by inspiring you, cannot be understated. We are lacking enough of these people in these days where people are in the limelight for 'what', not 'how' they are doing. Many sports would struggle to name a single modern-day equivalent.
But the single-minded pursuit of greatness, is this something to emulate? We should remember that Bradley Wiggins is a man at the very top of his game. A man focused on one goal, supported by not just the most inspirational sporting team that I have witnessed since Clive Woodward's 2003 Rugby World Cup winning team, but a loving family orbiting around his goal. In Wiggins own words: "There's my family and my kids who've had to put up with me for the last four years. They've had to live with my burden, which is trying to win the Tour."
What can us humble mortals take from this - that majority of us who are not free to focus on just one life component, don't have omni-present support crew, and are not able or willing to optimise our own Life Scorecard independently of the considerations of others?
I'm going to take comfort from another of Bradley Wiggins comments on the matter, "This is certainly my greatest sporting achievement...this is only sport, it's not life and death...I've got a lot more things in my life which are more important than this."
Your daily exercise: What's the definition of greatness for you in your life? Write it down on that same sheet of paper. Bradley had the goal of winning the Tour de France from 11 years old, what has your goal always been? What is it now? Rank the various activities that make up your life, your life components, in order of importance for you.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
I'm responsible for the cleanliness of this hand towel
Keep busy.
As a well-educated and high performing individual, start having too much time to achieve too little and almost entirely irrelevant things will start to bother you.
Some examples, any ring a bell?
"Who has used a green towel when we are currently on the navy towel rotation? My pairs now don't match!"
"Oh no! The recycling truck is here and I have yet to sort through the Sunday paper. I can't deal with this level of inefficiency"
"Is my house big enough, should I maybe have a downstairs toilet?"
"(To 4 month old) Why aren't you drinking your milk? You should have drunk 6 ounces."
"My work means that I can't do nursery drop off or pick up unfortunately"
"Sorry, I can't come to your birthday party, I have an early morning training ride tomorrow."
The fact is that, whether leading a multi-million refinancing, entering your efforts in a local baking competition or introducing your baby to solid food, you will judge yourself against the highest possible standard. Your skills of self-evaluation have been so finely honed during your studies and working life that they simply can't be turned on and off based on the relative life importance of the task.
It of course follows that old adage: "If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well." Here I challenge this saying with, "If you are doing a job that well, then you simply don't have enough to do."
An obsession with perfection in one particular aspect of your life - your house size, your baby's wardrobe, how people see you at work, is a glaring sign that you are not optimising your Life Scorecard. Chose some additional components, or make a concerted effort to spend more time on one you already have.
Far from catapulting you to greatness, the search for perfection in too small a number of Life Scorecard components could be an inhibitor to your overall life satisfaction level. Searching for perfection across a varied number of components? Well, that's also known as 'having it all', the pancea of life satisfaction that also comes with some serious side effects for you and those around you. More on this another time.
As a well-educated and high performing individual, start having too much time to achieve too little and almost entirely irrelevant things will start to bother you.
Some examples, any ring a bell?
"Who has used a green towel when we are currently on the navy towel rotation? My pairs now don't match!"
"Oh no! The recycling truck is here and I have yet to sort through the Sunday paper. I can't deal with this level of inefficiency"
"Is my house big enough, should I maybe have a downstairs toilet?"
"(To 4 month old) Why aren't you drinking your milk? You should have drunk 6 ounces."
"My work means that I can't do nursery drop off or pick up unfortunately"
"Sorry, I can't come to your birthday party, I have an early morning training ride tomorrow."
The fact is that, whether leading a multi-million refinancing, entering your efforts in a local baking competition or introducing your baby to solid food, you will judge yourself against the highest possible standard. Your skills of self-evaluation have been so finely honed during your studies and working life that they simply can't be turned on and off based on the relative life importance of the task.
It of course follows that old adage: "If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well." Here I challenge this saying with, "If you are doing a job that well, then you simply don't have enough to do."
An obsession with perfection in one particular aspect of your life - your house size, your baby's wardrobe, how people see you at work, is a glaring sign that you are not optimising your Life Scorecard. Chose some additional components, or make a concerted effort to spend more time on one you already have.
Far from catapulting you to greatness, the search for perfection in too small a number of Life Scorecard components could be an inhibitor to your overall life satisfaction level. Searching for perfection across a varied number of components? Well, that's also known as 'having it all', the pancea of life satisfaction that also comes with some serious side effects for you and those around you. More on this another time.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
What's your brand?
Never has there been greater freedom to be yourself. Gone are the days where children are encouraged to be seen and not heard, women seen and heckled and men seen as nothing but blackberry-carrying bachelors.
The age of authenticity is here. In these times where cash is lacking and trust even less so, the masses are looking for genuine associates and leaders. Boris Johnson is a man trading on his authenticity and is now being called out as a desirable option for our country’s Prime Minister.
Trust, or the cumulative loss of trust in our Media, Bankers, CEOs and Government isn’t the only driver of the authenticity movement.
Increasingly blurred line between ‘Work’ and ‘Life’
With the power of social networking, people are increasingly bringing subject matter previously restrained to their ‘private life’ into their work environment. Bosses follow juniors on twitter, articles read on the tube are circulated to work colleagues. Who you are in private is increasingly recognised as an acceptable determination of who are at work. Increasingly, family, religion and sexual preference-based community building events take place in the office.
Diversity is a strong driver
In a time where post graduate unemployment is at an all time low, more 18-24 year olds than ever before are turning their backs on the expected route through uni and following a different road. Greater diversity of skill and experience is beginning to emerge as a result which our leaders are having to respond to. In addition, there is the gender point. More women are in senior roles than ever before and the recent Paternity Legislation which allows new fathers the same caring opportunities as the mother mean that both men and women are beginning to feel comfortable holding out family out as a key component of their brand
Other social factors such as the explosion in popularity of mass participation sports have added sport to the makeup of many employee’s ‘life scorecard’.
All in all we are becoming more rounded individuals.
So, you can be yourself. But have you spent much time considering what your personal brand is?
Be sure others describe you along these lines, so a greater awareness of your own brand will help you keep ‘on message’ and focus on optimising your own Life Scorecard.
Be sure others describe you along these lines, so a greater awareness of your own brand will help you keep ‘on message’ and focus on optimising your own Life Scorecard.
Your exercise:
Take a moment to consider the collection of life components that makes up who you are and make up your own Life Scorecard. Career, children, caring for elderly relatives, sport, clubbing, crafting, gourmet coffee, cooking – select 4 or 5, write them down on . Are you aware that this is your brand? Do you live by this brand? Do you market yourself based on this brand at home, at work?
I'll have a Balanced Life Scorecard please
You are the CEO of you.
Until you had a family, or got important at work, or started a new sporting event, you maximised your personal life satisfaction performance daily on demand. You wanted to run, you ran. You wanted to work, you worked. You wanted to drink a litre of wine, you did.
You saw an opportunity for growth or greatness. You perhaps merged with a husband, together you decided to build some new assets.
Married and with children, caring for an elderly relative or just 'in charge', you are still the CEO, but of a larger and more complex organisation and the task of maximising your personal life satisfaction just became exponentially harder.
Many will be familiar with the concept of a Balanced Scorecard - a mechanism to measure performance of an organisation. Maximising your own life satisfaction requires that, in your increasingly complex world, you take a similarly deliberate approach.
How do you build yours?
Follow the 'A.C.T.I.O.N' plan.
Aspiration - What do you aspire to? Say it in a sentence and be honest.
>"I aspire to being like I was before my children came along, but now a great wife and mother as well." or, "I aspire to be the best mother I can possibly be."
Components - What constitutes your Life Scorecard? What do you aspire to spend your time on?
> Chose 5.
Examples: Family, Extended Family, Friends, Sport, Work, Charity, Baking
Targets - What do you aim to achieve in each of these areas?
> Set 2 or 3 achieveable targets per area e.g. 4 weekends with my Mum, 2 trips to the theatre a month, Olympic triathlon under 2hours30, £3000 for charity this year.
Insight - Against which of your Life Components would you say you were reaching your target?
> Mark 'Red' those that you aren't achieving. 'Amber' those that you are concerned about, and 'Green' those that you feel you are achieving.
Observation - Where is your Life Scorecard Amber or Red? What changes do you need to make? Why do you think you are not meeting your targets?
> Draw up a list of barriers to achieving your aspiration under each component.
Next Steps - What's your plan to improve your Life Scorecard?
> Develop a list of initiatives designed to bring your Life Scorecard into balance
> Work with your partner to discuss areas where they may be able to help
> Perhaps you will need to accept that certain areas will, for a certain period of time, be sub-optimal. But, don't lose sight of these areas. Keep them 'Amber' or 'Red' on your scorecard and think of longer term solutions to improve them.
Taking the time to consider both your life aspiration, and your current and desired performance will ultimately raise your overall life satisfaction. Want it, plan it, get it.
Until you had a family, or got important at work, or started a new sporting event, you maximised your personal life satisfaction performance daily on demand. You wanted to run, you ran. You wanted to work, you worked. You wanted to drink a litre of wine, you did.
You saw an opportunity for growth or greatness. You perhaps merged with a husband, together you decided to build some new assets.
Married and with children, caring for an elderly relative or just 'in charge', you are still the CEO, but of a larger and more complex organisation and the task of maximising your personal life satisfaction just became exponentially harder.
Many will be familiar with the concept of a Balanced Scorecard - a mechanism to measure performance of an organisation. Maximising your own life satisfaction requires that, in your increasingly complex world, you take a similarly deliberate approach.
How do you build yours?
Follow the 'A.C.T.I.O.N' plan.
Aspiration - What do you aspire to? Say it in a sentence and be honest.
>"I aspire to being like I was before my children came along, but now a great wife and mother as well." or, "I aspire to be the best mother I can possibly be."
Components - What constitutes your Life Scorecard? What do you aspire to spend your time on?
> Chose 5.
Examples: Family, Extended Family, Friends, Sport, Work, Charity, Baking
Targets - What do you aim to achieve in each of these areas?
> Set 2 or 3 achieveable targets per area e.g. 4 weekends with my Mum, 2 trips to the theatre a month, Olympic triathlon under 2hours30, £3000 for charity this year.
Insight - Against which of your Life Components would you say you were reaching your target?
> Mark 'Red' those that you aren't achieving. 'Amber' those that you are concerned about, and 'Green' those that you feel you are achieving.
Observation - Where is your Life Scorecard Amber or Red? What changes do you need to make? Why do you think you are not meeting your targets?
> Draw up a list of barriers to achieving your aspiration under each component.
Next Steps - What's your plan to improve your Life Scorecard?
> Develop a list of initiatives designed to bring your Life Scorecard into balance
> Work with your partner to discuss areas where they may be able to help
> Perhaps you will need to accept that certain areas will, for a certain period of time, be sub-optimal. But, don't lose sight of these areas. Keep them 'Amber' or 'Red' on your scorecard and think of longer term solutions to improve them.
Taking the time to consider both your life aspiration, and your current and desired performance will ultimately raise your overall life satisfaction. Want it, plan it, get it.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Taking the good ship Determination to Aspirationville
Your aspiration is your chosen destination and determination will get you there.
The importance of considering one's personal aspirations cannot be overstated. Without this consideration, personal life satisfaction will likely begin to ebb away, replaced with a sense of unease.
Once you have your target nailed, what drives the determination, that resolve to achieve against the odds?
Certainly inspiration is the fire beneath any good idea, that moment when you are mentally stimulated to succeed. Inspiration sends the shiver of adrenaline fuelled energy around the body to focus the mind. Inspiration cannot be summoned, is fickle and unpredictable but there are some sure fire ways to find it.
A contrary sense of proving the naysayers wrong can provide a rich seam of inspiration. "I can't have it all? You just watch me". Equally, positive visualisation, where you consider yourself having already achieved that goal, e.g crossing the finish line, triumphant with your achievement, may provide the necessary adrenaline shot. Following, or intending to beat others who have achieved a similar aspiration can also prove inspirational.
For inspiration to truly fire, it requires its own fuel. No matter how inspired one might be, this rare shot of potent adrenaline will achieve little without a rich fuel of personal energy and support from others.
The importance of considering one's personal aspirations cannot be overstated. Without this consideration, personal life satisfaction will likely begin to ebb away, replaced with a sense of unease.
Once you have your target nailed, what drives the determination, that resolve to achieve against the odds?
Certainly inspiration is the fire beneath any good idea, that moment when you are mentally stimulated to succeed. Inspiration sends the shiver of adrenaline fuelled energy around the body to focus the mind. Inspiration cannot be summoned, is fickle and unpredictable but there are some sure fire ways to find it.
A contrary sense of proving the naysayers wrong can provide a rich seam of inspiration. "I can't have it all? You just watch me". Equally, positive visualisation, where you consider yourself having already achieved that goal, e.g crossing the finish line, triumphant with your achievement, may provide the necessary adrenaline shot. Following, or intending to beat others who have achieved a similar aspiration can also prove inspirational.
For inspiration to truly fire, it requires its own fuel. No matter how inspired one might be, this rare shot of potent adrenaline will achieve little without a rich fuel of personal energy and support from others.
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