We're in this together

With a number trending in excess of 130 women committing suicide in London each year, and 180 poor souls in the South East, suicide is by no means the exclusive preserve of men. Especially since these numbers are on the rise. But, that said, women do account for a significantly lower proportion. In 2010, 500 men over the age of 15 and living in the South East took their lives.

Looking at the macabre news history for the popular city drinking hole and former-Conran restaurant, Coq D'Argent, the statistics appear to be borne out. Four recorded deaths in 5 years. 3 men. 1 woman. All city workers. The most recent, Nico Lambrechts, 46, an Investment Analyst, married father of 3.

Indeed, suicide is, nationally, the biggest killer of young men (15-44) - well ahead of better-publicised knife crime or smoking-related disease. On a national scale the statistics again trend - of the 5,608 people who took their own life in this country, 75% were, again, male.

Jane Powell, the founder of the much-needed and well-subscribed suicide prevention charity, CALM - Campaign Against Living Miserably - says, "men aren't supposed to talk about stuff, so it can be hard for them to know where or who to go to for help when life gets on top of them". And in the context of today's announcement that UBS  will cut 10,000 jobs as they restructure their business, life is not going to get any easier for our male-dominated city workforce. Academic studies on suicide behaviour certainly demonstrate clear evidence between suicide rates and economic recession.

It leads you to consider whether a new inequality is emerging. High expectations, lack of support.  As professional women have been developing ever-greater life choice, supported often first and foremost by their partners, but also by growing empathy and structural reform in the workplace, the law and the media, are men's requirements failing to be met?  

Look into popular culture at this year's chart topping album, Lana Del Rey's appropriately titled 'Born to Die', and the message is clear. In fact, it's really the only theme running through an otherwise narrative-free album. Despite everything we have achieved, women still want men to be winners and to be strong. "Money is the anthem..of success, so before we go out, what's your address? God, you're so handsome, take me to the hamptons, money is the anthem of success." I pick this light-hearted example but the options were endless.

Duh! Equality applies to all. If we are opening every possible opportunity for women to fulfil their professional ambitions, then we also need to ensure that men have the opportunity to fulfil their own, whatever they may be. That means their partners supporting them in their life goals, potentially at the expense of the house in The Hamptons, and employers, the law, and the media extending the same courtesy of empathy and structural reform across the board.

We are starting to see a structural shift with the advent of government initiatives such as paternity leave, where men are now entitled to up to 6 months un-paid parental leave, but take up is ludicrously low. As pointed out, "most men wouldn't do it for fear of repercussions to their career". 

As they say, 'depression is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that someone has been trying to be too strong for too long.'  Until we figure out how to ensure that men, as well as women, feel comfortable and supported to define and deliver their personal life ambitions, these terrible tragedies will continue to plague the city.