Sunday, July 29, 2012

I've got a rod. Now to learn to fish

Marketing Magazine Campaign of the Week September 1996 - the Oxfam Two Pounds a Month Campaign:
“Give a man a fish and he will feed himself for a day, but give the means to catch a fish and he will feed himself and his family for a lifetime.”
In the words of Marketing Magazine’s Andrew Marsden, “The Oxfam campaign..sells hope. Hope that something can be done…The campaign is mould-breaking... It aims to find long-term solutions, rather than short-term emergency help.”
The fish and rod proverb has often come to my mind when discussing life balance, quite simply because I feel so many of us are turning to short-term help, rather than long term sustainable solutions. 

A dear friend commented on this website that she had been “treading water until something magically happens by itself”. Many employers are at a loss as to what else they can do to raise the happiness and diversity of their staff. In most professional firms, flexible working is now available to all, yet women continue to be poorly represented at senior level, and in the UK we are coming up to our 13th National Stress Awareness Day (7th November 2012). A sense of hopelessness emerges.
Look to the origin of this phrase and the poignancy is remarkable. Originally quoted in the work of a 19th Century author, Anne Thackeray Ritchie and her 1885 much celebrated novel Mrs Dymond, the heroine shuns the passivity of a widow grieving her ‘duty’ husband, and determines to radically change her life by marrying for love. Ohio State Press describes Anne Thackeray as ‘revolutionary’.
“..all gifts should be spiritual and capable of infinite division?’… ‘I suppose the Patron meant that if you give a man a fish he will be hungry again in an hour. If you teach him to catch a fish then you do him a good turn. But these very elementary principles are apt to clash with the leisure of the cultivated classes.’"

Written by a ‘revolutionary’ author, about a heroine who has an ‘overwhelming desire to change her life’, observing a discussion on the value of possessions for the ‘cultivated class’.

Less remarkable is the subsequent Oxfam use of the proverb in support of their 2011 International Women’s Day campaign – a campaign which, true to form for this annual event, holds the dubious honour of patronising both men and women simultaneously: “Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime. Teach a woman to fish……she’ll teach her friends, set up a business, and pretty soon the whole village is on the mend!”
I now hold Anne Ritchie in such high esteem that I will deface her words no further.

However, my belief is that the vast majority of professional employers, and the Government, through equality, life and family balance policies, have moved away from handing out fish and have given many of us a rod.
All we now need to do is learn how to use it and we will have fish aplenty.

Any company truly hoping to improve their employee engagement will need to provide lessons, and the cultivated classes will need to want to go.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Down with Work Life Balance!

According to Paul McFedries excellent Wordspy website www.wordspy.com, the phrase 'Work Life Balance' was coined in 1986.  The phrase appeared sporadically in papers across the world over the subsequent 10 years, rising to 34 mentions in the Nexis newspaper sample in 1997.  Four years later, 435 mentions across the sample. By 2010 over 1500 'Work Life Balance' mentions.  The media (and therefore the people) were becoming obsessed. Then, thank goodness, a drop.

Long may this decline continue. Down with Work Life Balance! And down with the nonsense update "Life Work Balance", too!

We must give huge thanks to the early pioneers of greater life balance.  In 2002, for example, Simon Murphy, the leader of Britain's Labour MEP's, walked away from the "undoubted rewards of a fulfilling ego-boosting career" in order to spend more time with his family. 

Ground-breaking at the time, his explanatory statement - "Being a father and a husband is my number one priority even at the cost of a career I have spent my adult life pursuing", made headline national news and was covered in numerous comment columns.

Though in so many ways inspirational, even today, his decision also feels terribly depressing.

This idea that a successful, fulfilling career is incompatible with spending time with the family must be challenged. Yet, in fact, I believe we are exacerbating the problem by continuing our quest for this outdated view of balance - 1,452 newspaper mentions of the phrase persisted in 2011.

Balance is defined as 'an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady'. By adding the words 'work' and 'life' we understand that we are looking for an even distribution of weight across the two, as on a pair of scales.

The very notion of work and life being equally and oppositely weighted is both un-inspirational and overly simplified.   It suggests that we:
1.)  Target working more than the standard working hours (standard working hours, 5 days a week, a 16 hour day awake - work should account for less than one third of our wakeful time)

2.) Pitch the whole of the rest of our life components against one, work.

Thank goodness that we have made some progress. That, for many, nowadays, being a parent and a partner is a "number one priority". However, for many others it is simply not acceptable, nor optimal for our economy, to walk away from the "fulfilling, ego boosting..career that we have spent our life pursuing". We need to be fulfilled and we need our egos to be boosted.

I would like to suggest that we take a rather more sophisticated approach.  We aim for a 'balanced life'. 

A truly balanced life is determined by the individual on their own terms and can be captured in their own, highly personalised Life Scorecard. Each component is intricately weighted, targeted and assessed.  It can't be simplified to two components on a set of weighing scales.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Feedback Junkie

This week the Government has announced its strategy for dealing with the prevalence of mental health problems in our country, the cost of which has recently been estimated at 105 billion pounds.  This number might as well read 'a gazillion' for all it registers. Nick Clegg's comment, however, "too many people suffer in silence with mental health issues", is something that I can understand.

According to the Government's definition in the strategy paper, No Health Without Mental Health, "mental health problems are problems with someone's mind that make it difficult for them to live a normal life", the paper estimates that one in four of us will experience mental health problems at some point in our life.  

To recap:
One in four of us will, at some point, have a problem with our mind which makes it difficult to live a normal life.

Quite a chilling statement when you look at it like that.

The website of the charity Mind (www.mind.org.uk) sets out mental health diagnoses and conditions in a convenient A-Z list (examples below). I imagine that the list would make uncomfortable reading on a tired day, or simply a factual list of the by-products of my life on a good one:

Anger
Addiction
Eating problems
Mania
Obsessive-Compulsive
Self-Esteem
Sleep-Problems
Stress
Worry

I sense that the list is ever-evolving as additional cases come to light.  Sex addiction, for example, was only recognised as a psychiatric disorder by the NHS in 2011, following extensive public discussion after Tiger Woods noted infidelity.

One currently unlisted addiction has been the subject of some ridicule in the past, but I wouldn't be surprised if it made a late 2012 entry. That is, the need for constant approval.

Smirk as you may, but one author, Joyce Meyer, has distributed over 3 million copies worldwide of her book 'Approval Addiction - Overcoming the Need to Please', from which I quote: “So many people these days have an unhealthy need for constant affirmation and are unable to feel good about themselves without it....If you want to be unhappy, uncomfortable, and insecure, just spend your life trying to do something that is not right for you.  It is just like trying to wear shoes that don’t fit.”

I sense that a large number of us do something that we don't want to do, such as being at work when we'd rather be bathing the kids, or don't do something that we do want to do, like being at work rather than bathing the kids, because we feel it is the acceptable thing. Interestingly, I also regularly wear uncomfortable shoes that don't fit.

Meyer's prescribed treatment is to work on your faith in God. She has found that God gives her all the approval she needs now. "Our desire for approval can only truly be met by receiving God’s acceptance and approval of us", she says.

This is bitter methadone for the feedback junkie who, keen to do the socially acceptable thing, was unsuccessful in convincing the church to Baptise her non-church-going children.

So what other cure for approval addiction?

Reading again the Mind website, I conclude that working on your self-esteem is the best action to overcome the feedback junkie in you.

They suggest the following 10 tips to boost self-esteem:

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
2. Don’t put yourself down.
3. Get into the habit of thinking and saying positive things about yourself to yourself.
4. Accept compliments.
5. Use self-help books and websites to help you change your beliefs.
6. Spend time with positive supportive people.
7. Acknowledge your positive qualities and things you are good at.
8. Be assertive, don’t allow people to treat you with a lack of respect.
9. Be helpful and considerate to others.
10. Engage in work and hobbies that you enjoy.

I buy some, not all, of these as treatment for approval addiction.  Point 5 is clearly just written in the Mind website's own interest.

Sorry Mind website, I really hope I haven't offended you by saying that.

Oh dear, I shouldn't have said that.

Instead, to continue Meyer's analogy, I say; find a pair of shoes that you really like and wear them in until they feel perfect. And, just occasionally, imagine yourself wearing someone elses.

Ps.) Why do I always do that? I've probably upset Mind now. Sorry.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Does something gotta give?

Put "something's gotta give meaning" into Google and 221,000,000 results are returned.

It appears that many before me have decided to ponder what this so oft-used expression actually means.  It is one of those passive aggressive phrases wheeled out when discussing how to live, or how you should live your life.

I like this definition from wiki.answers.com:
In the most common sense of the phrase it means that that a given situation cannot remain the same forever and will surely change.

So, let's ponder on a recent use of this phrase discussed on this very site, inserting the new definition that I now have:

"As all working parents know, when it comes to balancing work and family, something has to give."

Becomes:

"As all working parents know, when it comes to balancing work and family, this situation cannot remain the same forever and will surely change."

Do you know? I think I might have underestimated my fellow blogger on the Wall Street Journal.  What I dismissed as patronising, non-sensical drivel was actually truly inspired.

I could not agree more. When balancing work, family, or indeed any of the components of your Life Scorecard, the situation cannot remain the same forever and will surely change.  And would we want it any other way?

Could you imagine a scenario where you made a decision about how your life was going to go at, say, university leaving age or post honeymoon, or post first child or post second child or, you know, tomorrow, and made no plans to change it again?  Not only would you be absolutely incapable of flexing to events as they are thrown at you but you would also be rooted in a life-style better suited to a different you.  In at least one of those scenarios, I would be sentenced to a life wearing overly baggy jeans and tummy tops, aiming to look like Gerri Halliwel in the 'It's Raining Men' video, frequenting all-nighter drum and bass events and eating nothing but satsumas.

Thank goodness life can change.  The important thing is that you are the one who controls the change.  As previously noted, you are the CEO of your life project. If there is a change, or you wish to effect a change, you can decide what you want to do.  The good news is that you have four levers at your disposal: quantity, standard, schedule and budget. 

1. Change the quantity of the life components that you are trying to deliver.  Cut back on one of your hobbies or add one. Cut down your number of days of work or build it up.

2. Change the standard of what you are trying to achieve. Turn up to the triathlon with lower expectations of your placing. Get a takeaway when your friends are coming round, don't cook. Spend better quality time with your children with no mobile devices.

3. Re-schedule your plans.  Accept that you wont make sub 2 hours in the half marathon this year, you'll do it next year instead. Decide that this is the year to go for the Partner promotion.

4. Flex your budget.  Find additional childcare. Find a house keeper to help out. Cut down your grocery bill or go on a  cheap holiday this year.

Whatever it takes.  You're the boss. You're driving this project and if you do a good job, when something gives, you are absolutely able to accommodate it. And don't forget, as the boss, you reserve the right to change your life strategy at a moment's notice.

Daily exercise:
Play Cliché Bingo with me.
First to find a newspaper article that has the following wins a prize:
  • Something's got to give
  • Work Life Balance
  • Thorny issue
  • Professional woman
  • High profile
Yippee - I win! Reference previous blog - Marissa Mayer Madness. Thanks again Wall Street Journal Blogger. Thanks. Thanks a million. Thanks without end.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Marissa Mayer Madness

Marissa Mayer is made CEO of Yahoo, whilst 7 months pregnant. The scandal! Or, you  know, just, cool.  I have selected one of the myriad blogs out there for consideration and comment. This one from the Wall Street Journal. I'll name no names. There is no witch hunt here....

"Can women have it all?" All what? The pie?

"That thorny issue..." 'Thorny' definition: Having many thorns. Ouch. Proceed with caution or wear gloves.

"Play out in real life on a very high-profile stage..." Sorry, what's the play? How one particular woman, Marissa Mayer, lives her life as the CEO of Yahoo, mother of one, keen shopper, friend and wife?  I am almost entirely sure that this play will have some incredibly boring scenes.

"[Her being pregnant] was not part of the consideration,” said one person close to the situation about the former Google exec". OK. I like this comment. Clear. Fact.

"And while it should go without saying that personal issues should not make a difference, they often can and do." Well, your constantly writing about them before any top female announcement does exacerbate that.

"Not by the Yahoo board, apparently, which weighed only Mayer’s techie credentials in selecting her." Sounds pretty sensible when selecting a new CEO candidate for a failing tech firm.  I do wonder whether the management should have considered the candidate's experience in running a large business, though. None.

“Like every other professional woman, she has to weigh all the factors in doing her job and having a family.” Unless all professional women are also single mothers, this is also a factor for the male working population, and to suggest otherwise is a bit mean to the chaps who have turned down multi-million jobs in Los Angeles as Brad Pitt's body double, to hang out with their loved ones in Tooting. Right lads?

"As much as we might like to pretend that a woman can just pop out a baby and get right back to her pre-pregnancy life." Let's face it. Pretty much any woman loves to pretend that she can pop out a baby and get back to her pre-pregnancy life.  If we didn't believe that were possible, we may drown ourselves in the birthing pool.  "That just isn't so". Party pooper. "And it shouldn't be". OK, now you are judging me, and that's annoying.

"There’s also the matter of recovering from a physical trauma". Physical trauma?  The vast majority of, though not all, deliveries are not traumatic. Added to which, if she was in trauma, I am pretty sure she would not be going into the office and would instead be benefiting from the exemplary medical care at her disposal. She is having a baby, she's not an idiot. "hormones on overdrive", good ones though that make you be able to deal with the "temporary psychosis brought on by sleep deprivation", at least for the first 3 months. Think this is panic mongering.

"I would counsel any friend to take as long a leave as she can and bond as much as possible with her baby". What's the definition of 'bonding'? What's the definition of  'as much as possible'? No pressure girls. I don't think I want to be friends with you if doing so would involve this type of sanctimonious conversation.

"However, she is in a bit of a bind". M'lud - patronising!

"She can’t linger at home when Yahoo shareholders are waiting for a transformation". Again, panic mongering. She has a phone.

"Mayer is accomplished (true), glamorous (relevant?), brilliant (same as 'accomplished'? Or is this the French term 'shiny'?), powerful (how much wattage does she push out on the final sprint up the Champs Elysees?), a pioneer in a male-dominated industry (can't argue) and wealthy enough to afford any help she might need (none of your business). But she’s still human (really? even though she is so glamorous and shiny?).

"As all working parents know, when it comes to balancing work and family, something has to give." Top athletes will tell you that, as a top athlete, you can no longer eat pie everyday. Something has to give. Top mothers will tell you that, as a top mother who delivers absolute perfection in her children, you can no longer sit on the sofa and smoke crack cocaine, something has to give. This comment assumes working parents to be superior in knowledge to the rest of humankind. Which is clearly only partly true.

"Many people envision a baby as an adorable, babbling accessory." Really? You clearly don't have young relatives, visit the supermarket or go out ever in South West London.

"I thought that I’d be able to keep up with hobbies, friends and my prior work hours. It didn’t work out that way." Did you do some of the exercises that we have discussed in this blog? Do you have a good support structure in place? Do you know what you aspire to be? Do you feel inspired to go after that?

Thought not.

Please Wall Street Journal blog writer, don't concern yourself with the Life Scorecard of Marissa Mayer and how she plans to optimise it, it really is her concern and I am sure she has a wonderful team in place to help her with it. Think about your own life. Focus on that. I am sure that if she needs a friend, she will find you.

The pursuit of greatness

Bradley Wiggins wins the Tour de France, the first British man to do so.

Achievements of this kind recalibrate the greatness scale for us all.  We have witnessed absolute single-minded determination in pursuit of a goal.  Wiggins own words, "Last year after I crashed I watched Cadel win the Tour and I saw how happy he looked and I wanted to feel what he was feeling. I'd broken my collarbone but that night I got on my turbo. I was inspired by him and if I can inspire someone else, that's incredible."

The value of having a truly inspirational role model, who is himself inspired by inspiring you, cannot be understated. We are lacking enough of these people in these days where people are in the limelight for 'what', not 'how' they are doing. Many sports would struggle to name a single modern-day equivalent. 

But the single-minded pursuit of greatness, is this something to emulate?  We should remember that Bradley Wiggins is a man at the very top of his game. A man focused on one goal, supported by not just the most inspirational sporting team that I have witnessed since Clive Woodward's 2003 Rugby World Cup winning team, but  a loving family orbiting around his goal. In Wiggins own words: "There's my family and my kids who've had to put up with me for the last four years. They've had to live with my burden, which is trying to win the Tour."

What can us humble mortals take from this - that majority of us who are not free to focus on just one life component, don't have omni-present support crew, and are not able or willing to optimise our own Life Scorecard independently of the considerations of others?

I'm going to take comfort from another of Bradley Wiggins comments on the matter, "This is certainly my greatest sporting achievement...this is only sport, it's not life and death...I've got a lot more things in my life which are more important than this."

Your daily exercise: What's the definition of greatness for you in your life? Write it down on that same sheet of paper. Bradley had the goal of winning the Tour de France from 11 years old, what has your goal always been? What is it now? Rank the various activities that make up your life, your life components, in order of importance for you.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

I'm responsible for the cleanliness of this hand towel

Keep busy.

As a well-educated and high performing individual, start having too much time to achieve too little and almost entirely irrelevant things will start to bother you.

Some examples, any ring a bell?
"Who has used a green towel when we are currently on the navy towel rotation? My pairs now don't match!"
"Oh no! The recycling truck is here and I have yet to sort through the Sunday paper. I can't deal with this level of inefficiency"
"Is my house big enough, should I maybe have a downstairs toilet?"
"(To 4 month old) Why aren't you drinking your milk? You should have drunk 6 ounces."
"My work means that I can't do nursery drop off or pick up unfortunately"
"Sorry, I can't come to your birthday party, I have an early morning training ride tomorrow."

The fact is that, whether leading a multi-million refinancing, entering your efforts in a local baking competition or introducing your baby to solid food, you will judge yourself against the highest possible standard. Your skills of self-evaluation have been so finely honed during your studies and working life that they simply can't be turned on and off based on the relative life importance of the task.

It of course follows that old adage: "If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well." Here I challenge this saying with, "If you are doing a job that well, then you simply don't have enough to do."

An obsession with perfection in one particular aspect of your life - your house size, your baby's wardrobe, how people see you at work, is a glaring sign that you are not optimising your Life Scorecard. Chose some additional components, or make a concerted effort to spend more time on one you already have.

Far from catapulting you to greatness, the search for perfection in too small a number of Life Scorecard components could be an inhibitor to your overall life satisfaction level. Searching for perfection across a varied number of components? Well, that's also known as 'having it all', the pancea of life satisfaction that also comes with some serious side effects for you and those around you.  More on this another time.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

What's your brand?

Never has there been greater freedom to be yourself. Gone are the days where children are encouraged to be seen and not heard, women seen and heckled and men seen as nothing but blackberry-carrying bachelors.
The age of authenticity is here. In these times where cash is lacking and trust even less so, the masses are looking for genuine associates and leaders. Boris Johnson is a man trading on his authenticity and is now being called out as a desirable option for our country’s Prime Minister.
Trust, or the cumulative loss of trust in our Media, Bankers, CEOs and Government isn’t the only driver of the authenticity movement.
Increasingly blurred line between ‘Work’ and ‘Life’
With the power of social networking, people are increasingly bringing subject matter previously restrained to their ‘private life’ into their work environment. Bosses follow juniors on twitter, articles read on the tube are circulated to work colleagues. Who you are in private is increasingly recognised as an acceptable determination of who are at work. Increasingly, family, religion and sexual preference-based community building events take place in the office.

Diversity is a strong driver
 In a time where post graduate unemployment is at an all time low, more 18-24 year olds than ever before are turning their backs on the expected route through uni and following a different road. Greater diversity of skill and experience is beginning to emerge as a result which our leaders are having to respond to.  In addition, there is the gender point. More women are in senior roles than ever before and the recent Paternity Legislation which allows new fathers the same caring opportunities as the mother mean that both men and women are beginning to feel comfortable holding out family out as a key component of their brand

Other social factors such as the explosion in popularity of mass participation sports have added sport to the makeup of many employee’s ‘life scorecard’.

All in all we are becoming more rounded individuals.

So, you can be yourself. But have you spent much time considering what your personal brand is? 
Be sure others describe you along these lines, so a greater awareness of your own brand will help you keep ‘on message’ and focus on optimising your own Life Scorecard.

Your exercise:
Take a moment to consider the collection of life components that makes up who you are and make up your own Life Scorecard. Career, children, caring for elderly relatives, sport, clubbing, crafting, gourmet coffee, cooking – select 4 or 5, write them down on . Are you aware that this is your brand? Do you live by this brand? Do you market yourself based on this brand at home, at work?

I'll have a Balanced Life Scorecard please

You are the CEO of you.

Until you had a family, or got important at work, or started a new sporting event, you maximised your personal life satisfaction performance daily on demand. You wanted to run, you ran. You wanted to work, you worked. You wanted to drink a litre of wine, you did.

You saw an opportunity for growth or greatness. You perhaps merged with a husband, together you decided to build some new assets.

Married and with children, caring for an elderly relative or just 'in charge', you are still the CEO, but of a larger and more complex organisation and the task of maximising your personal life satisfaction just became exponentially harder.

Many will be familiar with the concept of a Balanced Scorecard - a mechanism to measure performance of an organisation.  Maximising your own life satisfaction requires that, in your increasingly complex world, you take a similarly deliberate approach.

How do you build yours?
Follow the 'A.C.T.I.O.N' plan.

Aspiration - What do you aspire to? Say it in a sentence and be honest.
&gt"I aspire to being like I was before my children came along, but now a great wife and mother as well." or, "I aspire to be the best mother I can possibly be."

Components - What constitutes your Life Scorecard? What do you aspire to spend your time on?
> Chose 5.
Examples: Family, Extended Family, Friends, Sport, Work, Charity, Baking

Targets - What do you aim to achieve in each of these areas?
> Set 2 or 3 achieveable targets per area e.g. 4 weekends with my Mum, 2 trips to the theatre a month, Olympic triathlon under 2hours30, £3000 for charity this year.

Insight - Against which of your Life Components would you say you were reaching your target?
> Mark 'Red' those that you aren't achieving. 'Amber' those that you are concerned about, and 'Green' those that you feel you are achieving.

Observation - Where is your Life Scorecard Amber or Red? What changes do you need to make? Why do you think you are not meeting your targets?
> Draw up a list of barriers to achieving your aspiration under each component.

Next Steps -  What's your plan to improve your Life Scorecard?
> Develop a list of initiatives designed to bring your Life Scorecard into balance
> Work with your partner to discuss areas where they may be able to help
> Perhaps you will need to accept that certain areas will, for a certain period of time, be sub-optimal. But, don't lose sight of these areas. Keep them 'Amber' or 'Red' on your scorecard and think of longer term solutions to improve them.

Taking the time to consider both your life aspiration, and your current and desired performance will ultimately raise your overall life satisfaction. Want it, plan it, get it.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Taking the good ship Determination to Aspirationville

Your aspiration is your chosen destination and determination will get you there.

The importance of considering one's personal aspirations cannot be overstated. Without this consideration, personal life satisfaction will likely begin to ebb away, replaced with a sense of unease.

Once you have your target nailed, what drives the determination, that resolve to achieve against the odds?

Certainly inspiration is the fire beneath any good idea, that moment when you are mentally stimulated to succeed.  Inspiration sends the shiver of adrenaline fuelled energy around the body to focus the mind. Inspiration cannot be summoned, is fickle and unpredictable but there are some sure fire ways to find it.

A contrary sense of proving the naysayers wrong can provide a rich seam of inspiration. "I can't have it all? You just watch me". Equally, positive visualisation, where you consider yourself having already achieved that goal, e.g crossing the finish line, triumphant with your achievement, may provide the necessary adrenaline shot. Following, or intending to beat others who have achieved a similar aspiration can also prove inspirational.

For inspiration to truly fire, it requires its own fuel. No matter how inspired one might be, this rare shot of potent adrenaline will achieve little without a rich fuel of personal energy and support from others.

Hello aspiration, nice to meet you.

"To work or not to work?!" Many women in London are in the remarkable position of being able to decide whether to go to work or not.

As an aside, I would say that it is a complete mystery to me how households manage this economically when, even pre private school education, the average middle class London annual expenditure is that of a pre-austerity Grecian city.  Not my place.

Good body lacking soul

Some years ago I took a sabbatical from my job and spent a year travelling. The joy derived from a year doing what I fancied recalibrated my expectations of my life.  I also discovered that the components which drive my own 'life satisfaction' are various and variable: career, family, friends, quality of lifestyle, sport.

I happily retook my place in the workforce, with a few adjustments to my lifestyle - a renewed focus on sport, and a fresh respect and love for my friends.

I had it all figured out.

Running opens your mind to posibility.  Coming up the final strait of my first full triathlon, I had the idea of having a baby. 

Suddenly, any previous considerations on how to live were like Primary mathematics, life satisfaction now needed a super-computer to optimise.

That triathlon is a good marker of that final time in my life when I had everything in perfect alignment. My mind at this time was absolutely focused on my race, my body was mine alone and in peak performance. My soul? Well, I guess that is where I had some room for improvement.